Back in the late 1990’s, when I was in my early 20’s, I felt a strong call of God to go to Bible College. It was during my first year of university in Sydney where I was studying architecture and I wasn’t really enjoying it. I had been at a conference during the middle of the year and rediscovered the desire to be a pastor. Over the course of the next few months, this desire led me to have a conversation with my pastor and with his blessing and support, enrol in Hillsong College to complete a Diploma of Ministry. My intention for attending, based on what I believed that God was imparting into my life, was to go into full time church ministry as a pastor of a church. At this stage of my life, being in my late 40’s, this hasn’t come about.

Now this situation sparks the question – why hasn’t this happened? Why didn’t I become a pastor? Did I walk out of God’s will? Did people not see the call on my life? Was I not good enough? Did I miss God and not hear exactly what He was calling me to?

For most of the last 25 plus years, I have struggled with why I haven’t become a pastor. I have not understood why God didn’t open the same doors as He did for others who were in Bible College with me. I struggled with feelings of insecurity, rejection, frustration and confusion around it all. Now it’s not to say that God hasn’t used me during those 25 years. It is just that it hasn’t happened in the way that I thought it would happen.

Recently, I was speaking with a young friend of mine who feels the call to go into ministry and I said something along the line of these words to him: “Don’t expect to go into ministry straight away, because it is no guarantee to happen. God may have a path that you must walk in order to be the type of minister that He has appointed you to be.” I shared this with the knowledge that I was disappointed when it happened to me and that it put a barrier in my life for a time.

It is important to remember that God knows what is inside us and He knows what He is wanting us to minister like. So, in that way He has a plan in being able to refine those things, in order to make them effective and reach the maximum potential for His Kingdom.

When thinking about ministry, I am reminded of the great evangelist Smith Wigglesworth. I love reading his story about how he served the Lord throughout His life. Smith ministered with his wife for many years, where she would preach and lead and he would just serve, praying for people and looking after the mundane jobs. That he did until a pivotal moment in time when his wife passed away. It was at this time, when the call to preach and minister in his life was released for action. At the age of 52, Smith Wigglesworth started his worldwide ministry that lasted for another 35 years until he died. He is known throughout Pentecostal circles as the Apostle of Faith and reached multitudes of people for Christ. But it didn’t happened straight away when he first heard the call, but many years later.

I know that in my life, as I approach a similar age to Smith, I have had a journey which isn’t without its twists and turns. In fact, as I was about to finish Bible college, a pastor shared a word for my life which I don’t remember all of it but I do remember a key phrase – “God is going to throw you a few curlies just to show you that He is God!” The fact of this word was that God has a plan that doesn’t necessary line up with your plan, and He is going to throw you off your plan by what He requires of you from His plan.

My journey from the end of Bible College to now is one where God asked me to do some things that I wasn’t thinking that I would ever do. He asked me to work in Human Resources. He moved me to Canberra and then to the Gold Coast. I have completed a number of degrees with a business administration focus and currently I work in a location an hour’s drive from my home. I have also had to deal with numerous physical and spiritual challenges as well as the whole new world of raising a child with special needs. Lots of the time I have questioned why God was allowing this to happen to me. I questioned whether He wanted me to be a minister. I questioned if I was ever good enough. I even questioned whether I could survive.

But throughout all of it, God has shown himself faithful and He has utilised all of these experiences, twists and turns to help me be the type of minister He wants me to be. Am I preaching – no not yet. Am I ordained – nope still waiting. But God has allowed me to be prepared in so many areas.

Joseph experienced this exact same situation in Genesis. He had two dreams of being in leadership yet ended up in a pit. He was sold into slavery, was falsely accused of rape and forgotten in prison. Yet when the time was right, God manoeuvred Joseph into a place where he would be able to advise Pharoah and lead Egypt through the famine. That took 13 years before his dream became a reality.

There are so many times in Scripture where those called by God waited many years before they walked in the calling with most of these people experience twists and turns that weren’t a part of “their plan.”

The key to all of this is to remain faithful to God and trust that He is working all things for the good to those who love Him (Romans 8:28). This isn’t easy to do, but God knows the beginning from the end and He loves us.

There are no guarantees when it comes to our plan equalling God’s plan. The only guarantee that we can have is that God is going to work it all out and He has the best in store for us.